Never Again
by Melissax3
Summary: Sakuno always hoped, that one day he'd come back, and he did. But just because he came back, doesn't mean he'd stay. Sometimes the truth hurts, other times, it's the most important thing to move on.not a song fic. RyoSaku. R&R. CHAPTER 3 FIXED EDITED
1. Goodbye Forever, Hello Never

It all started when he came back from America...

"Hm, Ryuzaki?" a voice asked as he walked past a petite girl sitting, her back to a cherry blossom tree. The girl looked up, and took a moment to let her thoughts register as her eyes widened.

"Ryoma-kun!" she said, scurrying to get to her feet. Something came over her and she just had to hug him, and that's exactly what she did. Wrapping her arms around his neck, her head resting on his left shoulder, she smiled a smile that could be heard in her voice.

"You're back! I knew you'd come back!" she beamed. He looked at her with a confusion gracing his features. _'Why is she hugging me...?'_ Finally, she let go, looking straight at his face. It had been 4 years and his face had matured very handsomely. He had come back; he had come back for her. Or so she thought. But he came back, only to leave her again...

---

"Ohayo, Ryoma-kun!" she said, several months later in her usual cheerful voice that was slightly tainted by disappointment. Today was the day before summer vacation, and she knew she wouldn't see him for a little while, _'But at least he's here. And the next year will be a great new start with him!'_

"Ryuzaki." he replied, acknowledging her presence. He looked at her, ironically quite sad to say goodbye. "Ryuzaki, I'm leaving to go back to America tomorrow." he added quietly.

"What?!" she said, gaping at him. He was leaving, he was leaving her? She couldn't believe it, after everything. Sure they were only friends, but ever since he'd come back, she'd always hoped that they would be more.

"I'm leaving." he repeated.

"No..." she felt a pang in her heart.

"Ryuzaki, I have to-"

"No, no! You don't get to do the leaving. You don't get to hurt me again. You're not leaving, you can't leave me. You can't!"

"Ryuzaki..."

"Just, just forget it." she whispered. "I can't believe you're just going to leave me like this again. Why'd you come back to begin with? To hurt me?"

"I'm sorry, but I have to leave for college in the U.S. I got a tennis scholarship to one of the best schools there. That's the best opportunity around for me right now. There's no other reason for me to stay if..."

"No reason to stay? What about me?"

"You...? We're friends, and I'll miss you, but..."

"That's just it! I thought we could be more than friends, I wanted to be more than that!"

"I..." Ryoma looked down. He knew she used to have feelings for him, but he thought she'd moved on. If he would've known... "I don't know if I understand."

"What's not to understand? I love you!"

"...you...what?"

"I love you! I've always loved you. But...but you don't love me too, do you?" she asked, holding back the tears. She was not going to let him make her cry again. If she could hold them back so far, she could make it. All she ever wanted to know was how he felt about her.

"Ryuzaki, I have to go. But maybe i'll...see you later."

"No, you walk out now and it's all or nothing. Goodbye or I love you. Tell me now...I need to know now!"

"Ryuzaki," he said sternly. He cared about her as a friend, but he couldn't put up with this for too long. "I have to go. I'll email you when I get there. Goodb-, I'll talk to you later."

And that's the way he left her. Her standing there, underneath the same cherry blossom tree they met underneath nearly a year ago, ready to fall apart, _again_. Never again would she love anyone the way she loved him and she knew it. Never again...

---

(A/N): Yeah this is kind of a short story. It's not a one-shot. Well at least I don't plan to make it one. But yeah, R&R and tell me what you think, and if I should continue it. Sorry if it's a bit OOC for some of of the characters, but I figured they'd be different as they've grown up, however I didn't want to spend an hour talking about how they've matured. Also if there are any grammar mistakes or anything you see, please tell me. It's always harder for someone to see their own mistakes, plus I wrote this on a notepad first then transferred it.


	2. The Letter

Sorry I actually wrote this a couple of days ago, but I did it on my computer, and I never transferred it to my laptop, which is the computer I'm usually on now, plus I also thought I'd already uploaded it...haha, so, sorry. Anywho, I was listening to "Blow me away" by Breaking Benjamin while writing this, so this might be a bit morbid/depressing or not...oh well.

**Disclaimer**: I seem to have a habit of forgetting to put these in the first chapters and such. Well let's all just imagine it's there. I don't own prince of tennis. 

----------

Sakuno lied on her bed, her eyes swelled, and her face tearstained. He wasn't worth it. He's not worth it. The doorbell rang and she buried her face farther into her pillow. It rang again, and she grunted. Would this person please go away? It rang repetitively after that. _'Who is this rude?' _She got up, and got an obvious answer as she opened the door. _'Ryoma-kun...'_

"Ryuzaki." He stated bluntly, she could tell he was putting up a front.

"Uh...Hi." she said looking at him, focusing on the tennis bag over his shoulder.

"I'm...leaving tomorrow."

"Yeah I think you already made that point across." She replied bitterly.

"I wanted to give this to you." he said, taking out an envelope. She looked at him for a second, and refusing to take it from him, so he gently grabbed her hand, opened up the tiny balled fist, that she didn't even notice she had till now, and placed it in there.

"You think this is what I want?"

"What do you want then, a souvenir?"

"..." She paused. _'Like he doesn't know...'_

"I...I have my whole life to fall in love...I'm eighteen! There's plenty of time for me to do that and-"

"And you'd rather spend it alone?"

"...Being alone isn't always bad." He said, staring at the ground.

"It's certainly better than being with someone who loves you, I'm guessing."

"Saku-...Ryuzaki...I've had practically my whole life taken away from me, everything planned out for me. I just want to have this one moment. This one moment all to myself."

"I seem to recall plenty of tennis tournaments that you had all to yourself...the U.S. Open perhaps?"

"You don't understand..."

"And you don't understand me at all!" she said, balling her fist again, crunching the letter a bit. He looked up at her face and could tell she was in pain.

"I really have to go now. I'll be back..."

"Don't bother." She answered bluntly, closing the door in his face. She glared at the letter in her hands and crumbled it up even more. Then she threw it somewhere randomly in the room. She didn't care where it landed...not that she could see anyway. Her eyes were too blinded by her tears and everything was getting blurry again. _'Just leave me already...the longer you're here...the worse it gets...just leave...'_ With that she leaned against the wall and slid down into a crouched position. She didn't know when her grandmother would be home, and she really didn't care. _'There's no point anymore...'_

-------

Ryoma stood there for a second, gaping at the door. _'Since when did she become this aggressive?' _He finally decided to walk home. The whole time he couldn't stop thinking about what she'd said. What if he really did end up alone? It wasn't so bad now, but he needed to be around other people sometimes, mostly tolerable ones. Ryuzaki wasn't a bad option, and she was certainly better than being a lone, but he really didn't love her. At least not yet. His mom had always said you can grow to love someone; it doesn't have to be love at first sight...or even first year. Sometimes you learn to love them, like people do with their friends, but he had the rest of his life to "grow to love someone," didn't he? He stopped walking for a second and looked up to see the park where he had taught Sakuno and Tomoka how to play tennis. _'Very funny Kami-sama...I don't love her, I'm not going to magically fall in love with her the day before I leave the continent. But I am going to miss her...'_

-------

A/N: you might have noticed these chapters are kind of short. I would make them longer, but they seem to sound better when they're shorter, but I'll try to make them longer now, while still getting the same point across.


	3. Hate is a Strong Word

I never read your letter  
Cause I knew what you'd say  
Give me that Sunday school answer  
Try to make it all okay  
-Never Again by Kelly Clarkson

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Prince of Tennis or Hate (I really don't like you) By Plain White T's.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sakuno kept crying in her room for the next day. It was the first day of summer for pete's sake and she was in her room still upset about yesterday.  
_'Baka Ryoma-kun.'_  
"Sakunoooo," her grandmother sang from the kitchen. "Time for breakfast! I  
made Blueberry pancakes!" She sighed. her grandmother was always like this when school was finally over, and the stress was gone. But as soon as tennis conditioning started again, and then the school year, well let's just say the blueberry pancakes are about to turn into burnt toast that she'll have to eat in the car, if she's lucky and can get a ride to school that is.  
"I'm not hungry." Sakuno yelled down, trying not to sound agitated, and  
barely succeeding.  
"What? But you always eat my pancakes, are you okay?" Her grandmother said, walking up the stairs. She stopped infront of Sakuno's door and opened it immediately to see her daughter still in her pajamas. Sure, of all people, Sakuno was not a morning person, but still it was almost noon! "Is this because of Ryoma? Because he's leaving for america...again, today?"  
_'You don't know the half of it...'_ Sakuno sighed, and got up from her bed.  
"I need an advil."

-----------------------------

Ryoma sat in his chair listening to his MP3 while he waited for the plane. Next to him was his mom, lecturing his dad about the magazines he had somehow snuck into his suitcase. Ryoma scrolled down the list and picked a random song. Curse his cousin for downloading all her girly songs onto his MP3. All of the sudden a song came on. It sounded familiar, he waited until  
he heard the chorus, and then remembered it a little bit.

_"Hate is a strong word,  
but i really, really, really don't like you.  
Now that it's over  
I don't even know what I liked about you.  
Brought you around,  
and you just brought me down.  
Hate is a strong word,  
but I really, really, really don't like you._

_I really don't like you..."_

Ryoma turned it off. How ironic. 'Ryuzaki, you really need to stop doing this stuff to me...' The last time he'd heard this song, he was with Sakuno at some party, and he remembered when this song came on she looked really depressed. When he asked her what was wrong, she said

"If that's what love can do to you, if it can make you care about someone so much that you would give up your world just to be with them one minute and hate someone another minute...it must be really powerful..."  
"Sounds troublesome..."  
"But it's amazing! It's the most amazing thing in the world, don't you think?"  
"Why would you give up everything to have that person end up hating you later?"  
"I guess...love is, worth the risk."  
"Hn." He looked at her. She really was interesting sometimes...

-----------------------------  
A/N: Again, sorry, it's so short. Kind of a habit with this story I guess. Maybe i'll combine the next two to make one, but i'm thinking of ending this in a couple of chapters. For those of you who don't know, advil is a type of headache medicine,  
basically Sakuno is stressed from everything which is causing her to get a  
headache. Sorry that the spacing was off before, and part of the song was not in the story (so it made it sound confusing, i dont know how i deleted it. Anyway really sorry I hope it's better now).


	4. Hold On

Cause an empty room can be so loud  
It's too many tears to drown them out  
So hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

-Hold On, Jonas Brothers

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Hold on or Prince of Tennis.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next few weeks passed gruelingly. Soon enough Sakuno was moving out of the house and starting college. She was lucky, and had Tomoka as her dorm mate. And soon enough she was able to move on, or so she thought. Every once in a while, even though Sakuno kept the TV on mute, Tomoka would wake up in the middle of the night and catch her watching tapes of Ryoma's games that she had recorded previously during the day. She felt it was best not to disturb Sakuno. This was the best time for her to console.

Still it was hard to sit there watching the tears fall down her eyes when she watched those tapes. Ryoma almost always won. Once Tomoka saw him loose while Sakuno was watching him. She seemed disappointed, Tomoka could tell, but she knew that the real reason Sakuno was upset was because she didn't get to see his trademark smirk after his defeat. She didn't get to see _him_. Those were the worst nights though.

There were better ones, when some of the girls would go out to a club, or go dancing, or even just shopping. Anything was good to get Sakuno's mind off of Ryoma. But it was extremely hard to achieve such a thing. Tomoka thought that Sakuno's first boyfriend since then, Yuki, had achieved that. But soon enough, even while the two of them were dating, Tomoka would wake up in the middle of the night to Sakuno's ever so light sobs while watching his games.

Yuki was a sweet guy. Really nice. He bought Sakuno roses on their first date, and he always took her out to nice restaurants and made her feel special. But it just wasn't enough sometimes. To Sakuno, there wasn't that same attraction. There wasn't that same electricity. She had never been full of herself, thinking she deserved better, but she knew things between them wouldn't work out. But at the same time, she also knew, someday, she'd have to settle for someone like Yuki. She stood no chance with Ryoma. That much, he'd made clear.

Tomoka had never been an amazing tennis player, but after watching Ryoma's games for so long, she had picked up on a few things. While she spied on Sakuno on those nights, she had realized his playing had decreased a bit. His reflexes weren't as fast in his games. Normally he'd recover quickly from those kinds of defects, but not now. Not anymore. Although she spent most of her time worrying about Sakuno, she couldn't help but feel a bit bad for Ryoma, even though he broke her friend's heart.

This night was no different than many nights before. Sakuno was sitting in front of the TV sobbing quietly to herself, and Tomoka was leaning on the doorframe, watching over her friend. This night, however, was different, because for the first time since this started happening, Tomoka decided to speak up. Walking up from behind Sakuno quietly, so not to startle her, she went and sat down in front of the TV beside her best friend. It was apparent that Sakuno had noticed her presence, for she side-glanced, when Tomoka sat down, but she immediately went back to the match, focusing all her attention once again on the screen.

"Sakuno." Tomoka mumbled lightly, breaking the gentle silence. There was no answer. Tomoka waited, a commercial came on a few minutes later. Even though it was a tape, and Sakuno could pause it at any minute, she decided to take her opportunity now.

"Sakuno." She mumbled again.

"Yes?" Sakuno whispered in her sweet gentle voice, never taking her eyes off of the screen.

"You should get some sleep. Don't you have a test tomorrow?" Tomoka looked at her to see some sign of recognition, but she got none.

"Yes, I do. Thank you for your concern. I'm fine though." Sakuno half smiled, actually turning her head to look at her friend this time.

"Sakuno, no. Go to sleep now. You've got a date with Yuki at 4 o'clock tomorrow, and you can't be half asleep for that. Now go." Tomoka ordered.

"Tomo-chan...Yuki and I, we broke up." She said, her face showed a bit of sadness, but not much.

"What?! Why? When?" Tomoka demanded. This was completely unheard of.

"Yesterday, he told me he loved me." She said, dropping her gaze so that she was staring blankly at the floor.

"And what did you say?"

"I said, 'in the end, love just hurts people.'" Sakuno smiled lightly, as her eyes rose to Tomoka's, but there was a hint of bitterness in her voice. "Ryoma-kun taught me that. I guess I owe him something, then don't I?"

"Sakuno, stop this now. You care about Yuki, I know you do!"

"Yes, yes I do. But I don't ever want to hurt him the way Ryoma-kun hurt me. So I think it's better to end this now, before it get's any worse."

"Sakuno! You're being stupid."

"I loved him!" Sakuno shouted out of the blue. "I loved him so much..." she replied, tears suddenly coming down her cheeks. The TV flashed back to mostly green showing the grass revealing that the commercials were back on. Sakuno's eyes went back to the screen with tears still falling down, but lighter now. Tomoka sighed silently to herself and continued to watch the game with her friend. This was all she could do for now.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ryoma panted heavily. He had a game earlier this morning and almost lost. He'd been doing a lot of that lately. He almost always won of course, but his playing had gotten worse. He'd gotten enough comments from his father, his coach, and Momo-senpai about that, to make it final. In reality though, his tennis ability was still superb, but he didn't know how much more of this he could take.

He was running right now. He didn't know where he was going. No where in particular. He really just wanted to find a ponta machine around here. Of course there was none, they didn't sell ponta in the U.S., however Ryoma still had it shipped to him from his cousin. He made a mental note to call her to send the next shipment, and double it this time.

"Ryoma?" He heard a voice call. He turned to see Tina, his girlfriend. _'What is she doing here?' _He analyzed his surroundings to realize he'd ran back to the campus, and she was outside his dorm building, most likely looking for him. _'Dang, that paranoid girl.'_

"I'm here." He answered.

"Ah, I was worried. I haven't seen you since last night. I went to your game today, but you left so quick and-"

"I was busy." He stated coolly.

"Oh, well that's alright. I mean I understand and everything. After all you've got a busy schedule I mean who wouldn't with all those tennis games, and not to mention school is toughening enough, and I really think you need to spend more time relaxing, but-"

"I'll do that. I'm going to bed now. See you later." He yawned for emphasis.

"Okay, Goodnight sweetie." She smiled, leaning in for a kiss. He broke off a second after contact and walked back to his dorm. Subconsciously he went and looked at his email. He'd sent Sakuno an email earlier this week, and she had yet to respond. Not that she'd responded to any of his other emails, except for the first one he'd sent where he actually wrote 2 pages to her, to which she responded:

'_Yeah I like it here. The weather's nice. My grandmother days hi back. I have to go. Bye.'_

Well that helped with his self esteem, not that he really needed any help particularly, but still. He had always liked her shyness, and quiet nature. Much less annoying than some people, _ahem Tina_, but still, he sent her 2 whole pages! And he gets 4 sentences and a bye. They weren't even real sentences too. They were extremely short and none had anything to do with how she was doing, and how school was, unless you count the first sentence.

Ryoma wouldn't lie and say that he enjoyed when people talked about themselves, but she was one of his closest friends, and he couldn't even get a "Hi, I missed you." out of her. It was a bit disappointing really. Ryoma sighed and turned his computer off, ignoring that he'd gotten 3 emails from Tina, about a billion from fan girls, and one from Momoshiro. Instead he got in bed and tucked himself in, glancing at a picture of his beloved cat Karupin. Slowly, he closed his eyelids and drifted off to sleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Yay! It's longer, and I got it out on the same day as my other chapter! (I actually wrote that one before too but only had about half of it done, so yeah.) Anyway I hope you like this one; I actually enjoyed writing it more than my other chapters (although I enjoyed the others too). But again, I really hope you like it. Please review!


End file.
